Comic book creators become persona non grata in Riverdale thanks to Dr. Wertham. Unfortunately for Jughead (Cole Sprouse), it comes just as his first credited comic book issue rolls into the stands. This excites Jughead, but he has a bone to pick with his editor, Al Fieldstone. You see, Jughead discovered that Fieldstone stole stories from Jughead’s favorite writer, Brad Raybury, reusing them for Dynamism Comic books. Fieldstone takes a very Mr. McDowell’s Coming to America style of defense. Raybury has November County. Dynamism Comic books To November Country. Completely different. Just like the Big Mac and the Big Mc.
You may remember Uncle Frank (ryan Robbins) sending back two episodes. He distributes tough love to Archie (K J What), citing all of Arch’s recent mess. He even takes Archie to meet the principal of Riverdale High, Mr. Featherhead. Archie promises to become at least a B student. Featherhead wants to speak privately with Uncle Frank. What could it be?
Betty (Lili Reinhart) plays the voyeur to Archie as he gets out of the shower. Close the curtains, Arch! Betty later asks Veronica (Camilla Mendes) what does sex look like? Veronica admits that she hasn’t come all the way yet. She tells Betty that she doesn’t need to have sex to be sexy. She offers to let Betty try on her sexy lingerie after school, explaining that she loves the feel and knowing she’s there.
Toni Topaz (vanessa Morgan) shows up at the tryouts for Riverdale High cheer and gives an inspired audition. Cheryl’s Flower (Madeleine Petsch) gives him a spot on the Vixens team right after his tryout, much to Evelyn’s chagrin (Zoe Of grand Home), another cheerleader, heartbreak.
Featherhead hired Frank as the new coach of the basketball team. Uncle Frank wants Archie to try. Archie wants to focus on his studies, but Frank insists that Archie be there, either as a player or as a waterboy.
At Veronica’s later, Betty tries on some lingerie, but feels more awkward than sexy.
Jughead tracks down Raybury. Raybury is a recluse. Jughead exposes Fieldstone for stealing his stories from Raybury. Raybury doesn’t know why someone employed by Pep Comics wants him to sue Pep Comics. Jughead fanboys on him.
Evelyn meets Cheryl privately. She tells him she doesn’t want “girls like Toni” on her team. When Cheryl calls her a racist, Evelyn explains that it’s not that Toni is black, but that she is “a lesbian”. Cheryl stands up for Toni, but both deny that Toni is a lesbian and say she wouldn’t tolerate one on their team.
Archie’s garage is empty. Where’s his hot rod? That’s what Archie wants to know. Uncle Frank hid it. Archie can get it back when his grades are up.
Veronica wants to have Betty a man. Betty admits to having feelings for Archie. Betty asks Archie out. He says he wants to but can’t because of Uncle Frank. It looks like Veronica is smiling when she overhears Archie gently letting Betty down, but Veronica is also consoling Betty, saying maybe Archie was telling the truth.
At basketball practice, it’s Archie’s first day at waterboy. Julian loves it.
Evelyn sneaks into Toni’s locker. and finds the book she lent to Cheryl. She confronts Toni, who tells her to mind her own business.
Pep publishes Classroom of Horrors! Jughead is excited. Just then, Brad Raybury shows up to take on Al Fieldstone. Fieldstone offers him an adaptation fee of $2 per story, but Raybury wants compensation for the 8 already adapted. Wow…$16. At Pop’s later, Jughead sets out to adapt Raybury’s stories. Raybury asks about Jughead’s father, but Jughead says he’s in Toledo now. Come back, Skeet! Raybury offers to read one of Jughead’s short stories. Anyone else think Jughead is about to be the one getting ripped off?
Uncle Frank got ARchie a gas pump job as Pop’s. THANKS?
Toni confronts Cheryl about Cheryl telling Evelyn that Toni is not a lesbian. Cheryl apologizes and admits to being attracted to girls, Toni is special.
Jughead gives Raybury a short story to read. While Raybury is making tea, Jughead finds a box of manuscripts and grabs one from the box. Oh, Jughead.
Julian likes getting gasoline from Archie even more than he likes getting water from him. Meanwhile, in Pop’s, Betty and Veronica have a date with two boys from a private school. But Betty only has eyes for Archie. And vice versa. Pop brings Archie a thermos of coffee. Oh no, is it drugged? It’s not, but last week’s episode of Riverdale really got me. Pop and Archie talk about Archie’s dad, and it’s clear that Archie doesn’t play basketball anymore because that’s what he used to do with his dad.
Jughead read THE Jupiter Newspapers, Raybury Manuscript, All Night. He loved it and does not understand why it is not published. When he tells Raybury, Raybury calls him a thief and kicks him out of his apartment. Well done, Jughead.
Betty admits to Veronica that she can see into Archie’s room from hers. Veronica wants to see too.
Cheryl announces that Toni is now at the top of the pyramid. Evelyn challenges him, but getting no support from the other girls, backs down. Yeah, Evelyn sucks, but Toni only got that spot because Cheryl is into her. I don’t think we should celebrate that.
Archie confesses to his mother that remembering his father makes basketball difficult for Archie. He also fears that he will not live up to his father’s memory.
Toni wants to show Cheryl her appreciation with a passionate kiss which, while romantic, come on folks, is trading sexual favors for a better place on the pyramid.
Veronica and Betty play Back Window with Arch. He spots them. Oh oh. Betty calls herself Peeping Patties. It only took 7 seasons, but Archie is finally closing his curtains. Veronica and Betty are unsure if Archie has seen them until Archie confronts them in the hallway. Archie wants to speak to Betty privately. He says he saw them. Betty plays dumb, but Archie admits to liking it. They make a plan to put on shows for each other. Betty tells her she’ll be wearing something special. Archie happily announces, “Betty, I’m really excited!” Keep it in your pants, Archie.
Archie gets dressed for practices. Julian protests. Archie immediately nails a three. Archie tells Uncle Frank that he’s not joining the team for Uncle Frank, he’s doing it for himself, his mother, and his father’s memory.
A teacher brings Classroom of Horrors and it is the author to the attention of Wertham.
At midnight, Betty and Archie show up at each other’s windows. They both undress slowly for each other. Am I or Camila Mendes singing right now? Betty wears lingerie. Archie is struggling. Just as they are about to face each other, Uncle Frank walks into Archie’s house and Hal walks into Betty’s. Uh.